Realtor Translation Guide: What We Say vs. What We Mean

Real estate agents have a language all our own.

To the untrained eye, a listing description sounds like poetry. To those of us in the business, it's basically a secret code.

Today, I am pulling back the curtain and translating Realtor-speak into plain English.

You're welcome.

Cozy

What we say: Cozy

What it means: Small.

Like, "You can vacuum the entire house without unplugging the vacuum" small.

Charming

What we say: Charming

What it means: Old.

Usually very old.

Potentially older than your grandparents.

Possibly older than electricity.

Full of Character

What we say: Full of character

What it means: Weird.

There is something unusual happening here.

Maybe it's a bathroom in the kitchen.

Maybe it's carpet in the bathroom.

Maybe there's a staircase that leads directly into a wall.

Character.

Unique Opportunity

What we say: Unique opportunity

What it means: We have absolutely no idea how to price this thing.

The market has never seen anything quite like it.

For reasons.

Move-In Ready

What we say: Move-in ready

What it means: Nothing is actively on fire.

Congratulations.

Bring Your Ideas

What we say: Bring your ideas

What it means: Bring your contractor.

And an electrician.

And a plumber.

And emotional support.

Sweat Equity Opportunity

What we say: Sweat equity opportunity

What it means: You're about to discover muscles you didn't know existed.

Open Concept

What we say: Open concept

What it means: Somebody removed a wall.

Hopefully with a permit.

Natural Landscaping

What we say: Natural landscaping

What it means: We stopped mowing in 2023.

Park-Like Backyard

What we say: Park-like backyard

What it means: You will spend every Saturday maintaining this thing.

Every single Saturday.

Forever.

Starter Home

What we say: Starter home

What it means: This is the only thing under a million dollars.

Close to Amenities

What we say: Close to amenities

What it means: You can hear Target from the backyard.

Convenient Location

What we say: Convenient location

What it means: It's near a road.

A very road-y road.

Low Maintenance Exterior

What we say: Low maintenance exterior

What it means: The HOA is handling your problems now.

Tons of Potential

What we say: Tons of potential

What it means: Currently not reaching that potential.

At all.

Meticulously Maintained

What we say: Meticulously maintained

What it means: The seller has a label maker.

And a filing system.

And probably knows where the original furnace manual is.

Rare Find

What we say: Rare find

What it means: We need you to schedule a showing immediately.

Luxury

What we say: Luxury

What it means: The listing agent used that word 14 times.

Bonus Room

What we say: Bonus room

What it means: We don't know what this room is either.

Office?

Gym?

Bedroom?

Storage room?

Interrogation chamber?

The possibilities are endless.

My Favorite Realtor Translation

What we say: "Just needs a little TLC."

What it means: Sweet baby Jesus.

The Truth

In all seriousness, listing descriptions are marketing.

Our job is to highlight a home's best features while being accurate about what it offers.

A good Realtor should be able to tell you what the photos don't show, what the description doesn't say, and whether "cozy and charming" actually means adorable... or whether you're about to tour a 700-square-foot time capsule from 1974.

And if you ever see the phrase "bring your ideas," call me first.

You're going to need an adult.